Noel has launched a attack against White Stripes - Dec 8, 2020
Noel Gallagher has launched a blistering attack against White Stripes frontman Jack White for being fat - saying he looks like "f***ing Zorro on doughnuts". The outspoken Oasis guitarist, famed for his foul-mouthed outbursts, claims the US rocker looks terrible after piling on the pounds in recent months. He said: "What the f**k is he playing at? He dresses like f***ing Zorro on doughnuts! What the f**k is that about?"

Noel has also slammed White, who earlier this year married model Karen Elson, for agreeing to write and record a song for a Coca-Cola advert. He fumed to NME magazine: "Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. He’s supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking. Coca-Cola, man. f***ing hell!

Alright, you wanna spread your message of peace and love, but do us all a f***ing favour. I’m not having that, it’s f***ing wrong. Particularly Coca-Cola, it’s like doing a f***ing gig for McDonald’s."

Master slur slinger - Aug 05
Noel Gallagher has resorted to his backup career as master slur slinger, vowing to snub California rockers Maroon 5 at the V festival, because he is insulted to be placed on the same bill. He says, "If we had a hand in picking the bill, Maroon 5 wouldn’t be on it.
By Kerri Hoo-fong

Noel’s near miss - March 05
TV bosses are furious as Noel Gallagher misses appearance. The Oasis guitarist and singer failed to show up for an appearance on hit US chat show Late Night with Conan O’Brien leaving Ian Brown, who he was booked to perform with, singing alone. According to sources at the show Noel missed his flight over and the bookers involved were ‘furious’ to learn that he wasn’t going to make it in time.

Noel’s double no -Feb 05
Noel Gallagher refuses to release double album to ’piss off record company’. Oasis’ latest album, Don’t Believe The Truth, slated for release this May could have been a double album, according to the always cheery Noel. He claims that the band have written 66 songs between them but only 11 or 12 are to appear on the album. The reason? "We were going to do a double album, but we don’t want to give Sony too much ’cos it’s our last one, so f*ck ’em." Thinking of the fans as ever, eh Noel?

Scrooge! - Feb 05
Just when you thought Noel Gallagher couldn’t get any meaner. The Oasis guitarist and occasional frontman (when Liam can’t be arsed anyway) has given the world another reason to dislike him - he hates Christmas and can’t wait to tell his daughter that there’s no Father Christmas. The old miser plans to break the news to four year old Anais, his daughter with Meg Matthews as soon as he thinks it won’t upset her too much. He went on to complain, "I hate Christmas, I hate the silly songs on the radio, I hate the adverts, I don’t like mince pies and I hate turkey. I can’t be arsed getting involved. I was on the verge of saying to my daughter ’there is no Father Christmas’ - I’m looking forward to breaking the news." What a great guy!

Oasis split? Again - April 04
Yawn. Rumours of an Oasis split are rife for what must be the 6,987th time.